Destination: reached

As a writing instructor, leaving this blog without a conclusion has been bothering me for some time.  Although obviously not enough to do anything about it.  It’s difficult to juggle mothering, teaching online, family, friends, facebook, cleaning, cooking, etc.  The blog fell to the wayside.  And now the blog is coming to an end.

I’ll leave the blog up, in hopes that it will provide encouragement to waiting families who stumble upon it.  Our family is complete now.  Dagim has brought more joy to our lives than we could have imagined.  He’ll be two-and-a-half at the end of this month — I can barely believe it!  He’s such a smart, silly, sweet, spirited boy.  I could just eat him up!

We’ve made so many wonderful friends through the blog world — thanks to so many of you who shared your journeys and gave us hope and encouragement!

It’s not quite goodbye though…I’ve started a new blog: thelovelynest.blogspot.com.  Right now it’s primarily about my new-found love for sewing.  I have plans to write about all the lovely things in my nest: parenting, cooking, writing, creating, crafting.  I hope you’ll join me there!

Of course I wouldn’t leave you without some recent pictures of Dagim:

It’s been a long and wonderful journey.  I’m thankful every day that the journey ended with our son, Dagim.

Meeting Dagim

Admittedly, this post is about 6 months late.  Somehow, writing about meeting Dagim seemed too personal.  And also, I couldn’t find the words.  Now that I’ve had some time to reflect on our trip, I hope to do a few posts about Ethiopia as well.

We arrived in Addis Ababa really late in the evening (maybe 10pm?  I can’t remember and sadly did not keep a journal).  The baggage claim area was jam-packed and I kept fretting that our luggage would get lost and suddenly I regreted carrrying on all of Dagim’s things (formula, bottles, clothes, diapers) and NONE of my own things.  I started worrying about spending the next ten days in the same dirty outfit.  I did have several heavy magazines, a book, Uno, Click and Clack trivia cards, a new journal (that I did not write one single word in during the entire trip) – none of which I even touched on the plane because I couldn’t concentrate on anything for more than five seconds (except the question of when the next meal would be arriving).  Luggage kept looping around and around the conveyor belt.  I saw the other families in our travel group get their bags and began to panic.  I’m a bit competitive in situations like this and I really wanted to be first out of the gate (I think I’d be fantastic on The Amazing Race except for the liklihood of giving myself a stroke).  Chris tried to calm me down but it was really useless – I was pacing, jumping up and down to get some height to see the bags, wringing my hands.  Chris sent me to change some dollars into birr, probably just to get rid of me for a few minutes.  Our luggage finally did arrive but by that time all the other families in our travel group were gone.  It took awhile to actually get out of the baggage claim area (there was almost a fight between an elderly man who kept cutting in front of people and a man who told him to stop) and into the pick-up area – during this time I worried about how we would know who was there for us (as it turned out, this wasn’t so difficult – the wonderful Travis is very tall and I recognized him from other blogs).

Travis and Ryan greeted us and we rushed out to Ryan’s car (it was very very late by this point).  They stopped off at the grocery store so we could pick up some things.  I really didn’t want to stop – I was exhausted and still a bit uptight from the whole luggage ordeal – and how could I food shop without a list?  Ryan and Travis then brought us to our guest house, showed us around and said they’d be back first thing in the morning with Dagim.  They weren’t joking either.

Chris and I woke up early (after not really sleeping much at all) and started to fix breakfast (I was grateful to have water, juice and cereal from our shopping trip the night before).  I actually felt really calm at this point and I said, “You know, I don’t think I’ll cry when he gets here.”  Then I heard the car pull up and the tears started flowing.  Ryan came in to get our camera so he could take pictures for us.

Here is Dagim, being carried by Travis into our guest house, moments before we first saw him:

And here is us, seeing him for the first time:

[After some discussion, Chris and I have decided to keep our first pictures as a family private.  I do hope, dear reader (I think there may be one person left who still checks this blog after my prolonged hiatus) that you will understand.]

Dagim wasn’t exactly instantly taken with us.  It took some coaxing to get him to come to me – Travis told him that mommies were nice and soft and warm.  We saw down with Dagim and just marveled that there he was – with us – after what seemed an eternity (a wait that seems so short to us now).  My first thought was that he was perfect – really, just perfect!  Dagim didn’t make eye contact with us (which we had prepared ourselves for) and he mostly looked at the light on the ceiling.  When Travis and Ryan left, he got upset and wanted to leave with Travis.  Of course, we had prepared ourselves for this type of thing but in all honestly, it really broke my heart that he was reaching out for Travis to take him.  After they left, we continued to sit with Dagim, quietly, not talking very much (Dagim was silent through all of this).  He soon fell asleep in my arms.  We brought him upstairs to the bedroom and we all took a nap on the bed together.  When he woke up, he apparently decided that I was his best bet.  He clung to me for the next several days, not wanting anyone else (including Chris, which was really difficult for both of us – for him emotionally and for me physically – I mean this partly as a joke and partly in all seriousness as I literally carried Dagim, at 22 pounds, around all day for several days – my arms actually looked different by the end of the trip).  That first day I held Dagim the entire day – he would not be put down.  We didn’t even know if he could walk or not (he could).  

After we woke up from our nap, we met up with all the families in our travel group for lunch.  At that point, we had only been a family of three for a few hours but it seemed like we had always had Dagim, that we belonged to each other.  Chris and I had longed for a child, for this child, for many years.  And suddenly there he was, in my arms.  I felt, at that moment, sitting with the other new families in a restaurant halfway around the world from our homes, that loving Dagim would be the greatest thing I would ever do.

Overdue

Along with overdue library books (shameful!), being late everywhere we go (and if you knew me before I was a mom, this would shock you), I am way past overdue on updating this blog.  I was just looking at Heather’s blog and noticed that her blog-roll indicates the date of the last post for each blog.  Guess who was at the bottom of the blog-roll?  That’d be me.

So, what have we been up to in the last three months?  Dagim has become a full-fledged toddler, looking and acting more like a little boy every day.  Last week marked 6 months together as a family.  It feels so much longer (in a good way).  He is learning new words nearly every day.  His favorites are apple and baby (he’s crazy about babies).  This week he also started saying “Oh shit.”  Oh dear.  I wish I could say that I have NO idea where he picked up that phrase.  But I can’t.  The time to watch my mouth has come (you could say it is overdue).  He sleeps like a champ (napping for 2-3 hours and sleeping through the night for 12 hours).  He is now a picky eater, making the craziest faces if some offensive food finds it’s way to his lips.  He’ll often make a pile of food next to his plate before even trying it.  If the offending food is not quickly removed, he’ll proceed to throw it.  We’ve finally made the transition to sippy cups (in true Shasta-style, he picked the most expensive kind).

We’re taking “mommy & me” gymnastics lessons (I use the word gymnastics loosely here) and I think the highlight of his week is running on the trampoline.  The instructor says he has good placement for his hands and feet when he does somersaults so I’m hoping we’ve got an Olympian.  He loves cars and trucks and balls.  Yesterday it was warm enough to take a walk around the block and he brought his little soccer ball and kicked it the whole way.  He’s super affectionate, giving out hugs and kisses to me and Chris all the time.  He’s also quick to cry and throw himself on the floor in a toddler-style tantrum, arms and legs flailing.  Sometimes it’s totally fake and he’ll look up to see if we’re watching.

He goes to a “Mother’s Day Out” program on Thursday mornings for three hours.  He usually whimpers and clings to me when I drop him off but he’s doing super there and loves playing with the kids.  When I pick him up, he runs into my arms and it’s the best feeling in the world.  Except last week he ran towards me and then got distracted by a ball and then didn’t want to leave.  I use the three hours of “free” time at a coffee shop around the corner to grade papers for an online class I’m teaching.

He can hop, both feet leaving the floor.  He can open doors (the day he figured this out was a sad, sad day in our house) and follows me everywhere, including into the bathroom.  He’s got some crazy dance moves that he will not allow to be videotaped (sorry!).  Oh, and for those of you who are curious, yes we stuck with the cloth diapers.  We chose BumGenius and really love them!

Clearly I’ve turned into one of “those” moms that talks incessantly about her child.  But, let’s be honest, what you really want are photographs, so here you go.

The boy loves his toothbrush:

At the Children’s Museum:

A word of advice: don’t let him see the Radio Flyer if you don’t plan on letting him ride it:

A boy and his daddy:

Not sure what is going on here:

Does he think that he’s posing for Tiger Beat?

Yesterday he learned to put his hands in his pockets:

I’m going to try and update this blog more regularly.  We’ll see how that goes.  For those families still waiting for referrals or court dates or court approvals, I think of you all the time.  I know how hard it is but I promise that the pain of waiting will be difficult to remember once your child is with you.  That may be little consolation right now but just remember that there is hope, and your children will come home to you.  There were many days when I didn’t believe I would ever be a mother.  And now my son is babbling in his crib, having just woken up from his nap…

Get out and vote!

Okay, okay!

I can take a hint.  Four lovely friends have tagged me (Erin, Michele, Jennifer & Heather).  I get it.  I’m woefully behind in my blogging.  In fact, I pretty much suck at blogging right now.  In my defense, running after a one-year old is a lot of work and I’ve been sick for the last week.

Anyway, enough of my excuses, and onto the tag:

I’m going to shake this up a bit and write about Dagim instead of me.

1.  He loves to dance.  He even dances to NPR.  No joke.  Do you know anyone else who can dance to NPR?  In the mornings, we go downstairs, I put him in his highchair and turn on the radio.  Whenever a musical interlude (even just a few beats) come on, he dances in his highchair.  It’s adorable.

2.  One day he said the word “diaper” clear as day.  Since then, I’ve been trying to get him to say it again.  The downside of this is that he now constantly says “didi.”  He’ll say this and tap his diaper when it’s dirty.  He has realized that this gets him attention and he now does it when his diaper is not dirty.

3.  Speaking of diapers, we’ve switched to cloth diapers.  Well, we’re still in the “trial” phase thanks to Jillian’s Drawers – an awesome company in Ithaca, NY that I can’t say enough good things about it.  They have a fantastic program called “Changing Diapers, Changing Minds” which allows you to try cloth diapers for 21-days for $10.  I’m in love with cloth.  Seriously.  It’s about the only thing I’ve talked about or thought about in the last week and a half.  I was worried about the ick factor but it’s not bad at all.  Really.  And I love washing the diapers at night.  I end my evenings feeling like I accomplished something that is good for my son and the earth.  And there’s something so down-home and wholesome about that stack of clean cloth diapers.

4.  Dagim is becoming a picky eater.  When we first got him, he would eat anything and everything.  I preferred that.  Now he’ll squeeze his lips together and look at me like I’m crazy to offer him whatever offensive food is in front of him.  And half the time it’s something that he used to eat quite happily.  Apparently that’s how toddlers roll.

5.  He picked out his first pumpkin recently.  Then he repeatedly dropped it on the ground.  On purpose.

6.  One of his favorite toys is a shopping cart.  He loves to push it around the house and down the street, putting all kinds of toys or leaves or whatever inside it.  Mommy’s version of a shopping cart is an online icon.

7.  Every morning he empties his crib of his bottle, blanket and bunny.  Sometimes he throws them out, onto the floor.  If I get to him before he’s done this, he shuffles around in his crib to gather up these items and hand them to me.  If I put the bunny back in the crib, he picks it up again, gives it a kiss and hands it back to me.  Usually, when all these objects are out, he’ll turn on his crib fish tank that plays music and start dancing.

Here are some recent pictures, which will hopefully make up for my tardy post (if anyone is still bothering to read this blog):

I’m tagging the following peeps:

Katie at Surrender to the Flow

Ashley at Eden Horse Farms

Jana at Eyes Toward Ethiopia

Erica at Home for Haven

Gretchen at Our Journey to Jayden

Christine at Christine’s Journey

Jess at The Soucys Go to Ethiopia

Welcome home, Abe!

Our dear friends, Jennifer and Jody, returned home this week with their beautiful son, Abe!  Chris and I were able to meet Abe when we were in Ethiopia and deliver a care package from his mom and dad.  We visited with him, took lots of pictures, and told him how much his mom and dad loved him and couldn’t wait to get him.  I was surprised at how emotional I was during our meeting.  When I showed him a picture of Jen and Jody, I started crying.  I tried to explain to the caregiver that they were my friends and that’s why I was crying.  She nodded and smiled, as if to say she knew and understood.  Jen and I have become great friends, supporting each other through the ups and downs of the last few months, and seeing her son before her really affected me.  I felt honored and privileged to be the one delivering his first care package.  While I held him, I felt all of Jen’s pain during the wait and the crazy problems they had (their file was lost!) that thankfully didn’t delay the finalization of their adoption (although I didn’t know this at the time I held Abe).  I also felt all the joy I knew she would soon feel holding him in her arms for the first time.

The blog world is more amazing than I ever imagined.  Lori wrote about it here more eloquently than I could even begin to.  I know some people think making friends through the internet is weird but honestly, it’s not.  At least not the adoption community.  When I tell people about Jen and Jody, sometimes they look at me strangely and I find myself saying “No, it’s not weird.  We’ve met them in person.  We’ve even spent a weekend at their house.”  As if I need to defend my blog friendships.  But the truth is that I have wonderful blog friends that I’ve never met and probably never will meet.

Anyway, I suppose I’m just rambling now.  Mostly I wanted to welcome Abe home and say congratulations to his mom and dad.  I can’t wait to see Abe again!

I know I’m a bit tardy in updating my blog and I promise (well, I hope) to post something about our trip soon.  We’re all doing well over here.  Settling into a routine.  Sleeping is, thankfully, on track.  Dagim has been very busy meeting a lot of our friends and family over the last few weeks (including Chris G. who has been complaining that he isn’t mentioned enough on my blog – or at all).  Our schedule is surprisingly busy with swim lessons, Kindermusik, and get-togethers.  We have good days and bad days, as I suppose all new families do.  Everyday we’re amazed at this beautiful gift we’ve been given.  Our son is bright, healthy, happy, affectionate, silly, smart, sweet.  He’s everything we ever dreamed of and more.

Photo Shoot

This afternoon I dressed Dagim up in his dinosaur-expedition outfit (a wonderful gift from Chris’s aunt Pat) for a photo shoot. He is a bit difficult to work with. If he wants to be a model, he’s going to have to work harder. Fortunately for him, a new season of America’s Next Top Model begins on Wednesday. Here are a few problems I encounter as his photographer:

He likes to play with the lens cap (and refuses to give it back; he also reaches for the lens although those photos are immediately deleted):

I get a lot of “up the nose” shots. Anyone who watches ANTM knows that this is a big no-no:

He gets bored:

In the interest of livening things up a bit, we moved locations. I told him that he was playing the part of a paleontologist and his motivation was dinosaur bones and that I really needed to feel that in the pictures. He fell down:

After a bit more Tyra wisdom (things such as: it’s not enough to be beautiful or to simply take a good photo, you have to connect with the camera) I was, finally, able to get the shot:

Tomorrow morning we’re off to my in-laws house for Labor Day weekend. Hopefully we’ll have time to practice some more. They have a great backyard…

Let’s hear it for the boy

Let’s hear it for my man, Chris! Yesterday we celebrated our third anniversary. I want to take the opportunity (a day late which seems to be my new way…sigh) to give a shout out (or fist bumps, as Jennifer would do) to my husband. He rocks. Seriously. There is no one else I’d rather share my life with and muddle through this thing called parenthood. I could not do this without him. He’s been off work since we returned from Ethiopia and has one more week of leave left. I’m a bit scared to fly solo after next week, as he is so integral to our days (and nights – that’s right folks, he takes the night shift!) together. He’s a great dad. Dagim adores him (as do I). Whenever he leaves the room, Dagim will turn towards the door and start babbling loudly: Dada…! [the rest is untranslatable]

So, thank you, Chris. For being the best husband a girl could ask for. And the best dad a little boy could dream of. I know I don’t tell him enough how great he is, and how much I love him. But he is and I do.

Here’s us three years ago:

On that day, we never could have imagined what a journey our desire for parenthood would take us on. Three years later, we’ve literally been halfway around the world together, to find our son. Now I have two boys to love. What a lucky girl I am.

My sweet boy in the grass

I promise to write soon about our trip to Ethiopia and being home with Dag. Right now, I’m still recovering from a head cold (caught somehow in Addis) and adjusting to sleep-less nights. In the spirit of some healthy competition, I keep telling Dag that Abe Rooney sleeps until 10am but he doesn’t seem to care.

In the meantime, here are a few of my favorite pictures from the weekend. My sweet boy was skeptical of grass at first and didn’t want his feet touching it but he warmed up to it.

I’m still soaking up the sheer joy and love of being this boy’s mother.

The Many Faces of Dagim

This boy cracks me up. Tonight, as I was rocking him to sleep, or trying to, I couldn’t even look at him because he was making me laugh. He was almost asleep, his eyelids heavy, his bottle not even finished, and then I guess he decided that he didn’t want to go to sleep. He started babbling and moving his hands around in the air (this kid gesticulates like I’ve never seen), humming this little sing-song that he has, touching my nose and laughing. I had to close my eyes while singing to him because every time I laughed at him, he got more and more animated. Today was our first full day at home as a family. It was a great day. I can’t believe how much he’s changed since the day we got him, eleven days ago. That first day, he was so quiet and shy. Now he runs around, gets into everything, babbles, laughs, plays, cries. I can’t wait to see what he’ll do next.